How do love happens

Love really does hurt. For this reason, it's been shown that taking aspirin really can help ease the pain of a break-up. The same study showed that the brains of people who have been rejected, weeks or even months after, were still addicted to love and go through withdrawal, just like with a drug. Over time, the rejected person's brain adapts by neural circuits re-wiring and chemical levels normalizing.

It's generally accepted that romantic love is one of three primary brain systems that evolved in humans to drive reproduction to ensure the survival of the species. The sex drive developed to motivate people to seek out mating partners. Romantic love and attraction spurred humans to pursue a specific partner while attachment increased the likelihood of them staying together long enough to fulfill parenting responsibilities.

Not very romantic when put that way. Research shows that romantic love and maternal love activate different areas of the brain. The good feeling is a reward that makes us want more," Nance explained. Although serotonin levels vary per person, they can also go down during the head-over-heels process. As a result, decreased serotonin may produce OCD-like symptoms that cause some people to think of the person they are in love with constantly, said Dr.

The hormonal reactions aren't limited to romantic love, however. Occasionally, eyes meet across the room and the rest is history. For most of us, however, falling in love is more complicated. Sometimes, the person who wants to be loved is unconsciously getting in their own way. When you feel lovable you project that out and other people notice," Palmer said.

The needier they appear, the less chance there is for someone to enter their life to fulfill those needs," she added, noting that it's critical to "love yourself without being dependent on other people's opinions. Once you're ready to love yourself and are open to outside love, the rest is timing, chemistry and common ground. Although the old saying " opposites attract " remains prevalent, it's actually false in most cases.

At the end of the day, love is relative, so don't expect your relationship to look, feel or act the same as past experiences or like those of your friends. Ever looked back on a teenage romance and wondered what you were thinking? You're not the only one. Sign up for our Newsletter! Mobile Newsletter banner close. Research from also suggests single people may have higher levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, than people in committed relationships.

What is a partner if not someone to vent to, someone who can have your back? Jealousy can actually have a positive impact on your relationship by promoting bonding and attachment — as long as you use it wisely. Then, share them with your partner instead of snooping or making passive-aggressive remarks about their behavior. What makes you want to get it on all the time? Another set of hormones comes into play here. Androgens, a group of hormones that includes testosterone, increase your desire for sex with the person you love.

No harm in that — sex offers plenty of health benefits. Love, particularly love that develops into a committed relationship, can have a positive impact on overall health.

Research from reviewed 95 articles that compared the death rate for single people to the death rate for people who were married or lived with partners. The review authors found evidence to suggest that single people had a much higher risk for early death: 24 percent, according to some of the studies they looked at.

A study of adults who had coronary artery bypass grafting also found evidence suggesting love can lead to a longer life. People who were married when they had the surgery were 2. High marital satisfaction increased this rate further: People who reported being highly satisfied in their marriage were 3. This study looked at 15 adults in romantic relationships established within the previous 9 months.

The participants experienced moderate to high levels of thermal pain while doing one of three things:. They reported less pain both when completing the distraction task and when looking at a photo of their partner. But when you first fall in love, your stress usually goes up. It makes sense; falling in love can feel like a pretty high-stakes situation, especially before you know how the other person feels.

Your body responds to the stress of love by producing norepinephrine and adrenaline, the same hormones your body releases when you face danger or other crises. Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts. And that's okay!

When it comes to lasting love, slow and steady often wins the race. TL;DR: The best "shortcuts" you're gonna get from Sommerfeldt is just good ole-fashioned advice—make time to learn each other, be open and emotionally available, and hold onto your own identity and sense of self.

Maybe your partner had an easier time letting down that emotional wall. Try something like: "I'm so grateful for you. This relationship and the time we spend together means so much to me. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your feelings with me. And how lucky are you to have another person understand how special you are and fall in love with you! If you're feeling it, don't be shy about sharing how important they are to you, too.

Even if you're not ready to say the "L" word just yet, "expressing how grateful you are toward your partner, their vulnerability in sharing their feelings, and your thankfulness about them and your relationship can be a critical sentiment," Sommerfeldt adds.

Well, here's the thing: Those lovey-dovey brain chemicals "are designed to motivate you to take action to seek an unmet need," says Breuning. For some, the answer may be to continue searching and chasing that high—a. For others, the end result might just be the feeling of love fading sooner than they'd anticipated whomp whomp. Another potential snag, especially in this modern age of social media, is the tendency to compare your partner and relationship to others' once that initial excitement has worn off.

Common thoughts like, What does everyone think of my partner? They give you a grass-is-greener mentality, even when you're with a solid and worthy match.